Life Changes Quickly

I've been debating whether to write a blog about this, which is why it's taken me so long.

2 weeks ago, I took my mom to the ER because she was in an unbearable amount of pain.  During the visit, the doctors found that her entire liver was consumed with cancer.  To repeat what the doctor said, "There is so much cancer that you can't distinguish the cancer from the liver."

She came home a couple of days later and we immediately set up hospice.  So, for the past 2 weeks, we've been living through her declining health.  We've been dealing with her decliding liver function.

It's all happened so quickly--the decline, that is.  One minute you are having High Tea at the Arboretum (top picture), and then next, you're helping her do daily tasks, like get in and out of bed.  Talk about her Memorial Service find their way naturally into conversations.  Her precious jewelry sits in the jewelry boxes of my siblings and me.

I find myself making breakfast in the morning, crying over my cup of tea.  Blow-drying my hair - crying.  Driving home from work - crying.  Waking up at 3 in the morning - crying.

There's no book written on how a 27 year old should handle losing her 52 year old mother.  So for now, I'll continue to cry my way through.